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Two-Day Course Prepares Couples to Weather the Challenges of Pulpit Life

David Mark, MS, LCSW, presenting 鈥淭he Art of Science and Love.鈥�

On December 25 and 26, 2016, the (RIETS) sponsored a two-day couples workshop titled 鈥淭he Art of Science and Love鈥� at the Jacob and Dreizel Glueck Center for Jewish Study. Presented by David Mark, a therapist from the Gottman Institute on Long Island, the workshop鈥攐ffered to select couples entering the rabbinate鈥攑rovided ways to strengthen the intimacy and friendship within a marriage and taught partners to manage conflict in a healthy, positive way as they approach a life of communal leadership and responsibility. Rabbi Marc Penner, the Max and Marion Grill Dean of RIETS, explained that this kind of preparation is a key aspect of preparing future rabbis to lead. 鈥淭he rabbinic couple's ability to give to others is strongly enhanced by the strength of their marital relationship,鈥� he noted. 鈥淥ur professional training must include work on the inner life of rabbinic couples and absolutely must include rabbis鈥� wives, who play critical roles in the success of their communities.鈥� Rabbi Neal Turk, director of mental health counseling at RIETS and the workshop organizer, described the dual challenge faced by a rabbi and rebbitzen: commitment to both to their community and their own family. 鈥淭here are times when a rabbi must make choices between professional and personal needs,鈥� he noted, 鈥渁nd he must do this together with his wife.  This is possible only if there is a clear understanding between them of how they will deal with these issues.鈥� 鈥淲e received real tools for how to safely and positively navigate life鈥檚 challenges and obstacles,鈥� said one of the workshop鈥檚 participants. 鈥淲e felt like a stronger and healthier couple walking out of the workshop. RIETS showed how much they care about the well-being of their students and the rabbinic family as a whole.鈥� The workshop focused on identifying a relationship鈥檚 specific strengths, resolving conflicts, renewing respect and care for one another, financial management and rituals of connection. It was offered as part of the new Mental Rabbinic Personal Development Program at RIETS sponsored by Murray and Basheva Goldberg of Boca Raton and Israel.